Another reason to love Clive Staples Lewis

As I begin to work on my New Years goals I am reading "Ole" Lewis

At the moment I can resound with Lewis' statement and hope you can too...
From Clive's The Four Loves

"Need-love cries to God from our poverty; Gift-love longs to serve, or even suffer for, God; Appreciative love says: 'We give thanks to thee for thy great glory.' Need-love says of a woman 'I cannot live without her'; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection-if possible, wealth; Appreciative love gaves and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so than never to have seen her at all."

Not that I am trying to make some sappy post but I feel his description is quite spot on and helps explains the former in a richer way which I can relate. I pray this year my desire and love for the Creator grows even deeper.

Goals for the New Year

Terms and Conditions*:

Be more assertive while remaining gracious.

Play more soccer. (Bonus goal: join intramural team/coed adult league)

More physical activity (at least 3 structured times a week)

Continue meatless Monday (or a equivalent once per week)

Read 3 more C.S. Lewis books

Continue journaling

Be a better musician (work on playing lead, knowing scales better, continue mandolin)

Write more letters to friends.

Take some personal time off

Work on candidacy paperwork

Work on my bucket list

*not limited to only these things
** please those note a constant reminder would help in the accomplishment of said agreement

reminded of the familiar

It's been quite some time since my last post. Quite some time indeed.  A lot has been accomplished since the keyboard and this very page have coincided. Just to catch up here are the last major things in my life since last time with the rambling to follow.
1. Finished my first year at Candler
2. Became a godfather (Just call me Don Jon)
3. Saw my sister graduate high school.
4. Been to a few Braves games
5. Reunited with a good friend.


All in all things have rolling along pretty smoothly despite missing my dear friends from BPC and new ones at Candler.  Summer has been great. I've had time to travel, visit, work, and rest. I've been rereading Jesus for President again because it's election year just to remind myself no politician can really "fix" things (incumbent or newly elected) and hope in either candidate is fleeting. 


All this is to say i feel kind of dry right now. I know what is should be doing, how I should be acting, and how I should be loving.  I mean it engraved in my skin... literally. Yet there are moments when I overlook who I Am is and put all my focus on who I am.  Not that taking care of me is bad or doing what pleases me is sin. I gotten into an area of being comfortable with God and haven't put the effort I am capable of right now. I remember back in college talking to a friend of mine and she just started dating this guy for a few months.  I was happy for her so i asked how things were going.  To my surprise she seemed kind of apathetic and said fine.  I responded asking here if she was okay? She said, "Things are going good but its not as fun as the game."  By this she meant the pursuit.  Slowly that desire to pursue God is returning and I am so glad to know God has been patient with me.  


Also i bought a new guitar.  It is freakin' sweet.  Candy Apple Red Telecaster to be exact.  It was time for me to continue working on guitar and has been a great tool for me to draw closer to God.  I'm really getting into electric again... i need a little distortion in my life.  Today I will just leave you with words from my favorite musical group DC*B.  It really helped turn my boring day into something brighter.

This is not a song
This is a revival
A revival
This is not a death
This is us waking
This is a return back to life
Oh, Your life all I'm living for
Your life in my life, oh, it's life that I'm dying for


That's my prayer this week.

if by RK

I look forward to the day when I can say this to a son.

"if" by RK

 If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Dream job...

To be quite honest I've never had a "dream job" before. Granted there have been things I have wanted to do. Things like be a weatherman, a navy aircraft director, or sound engineer. All of these things sound fun but aren't occupations that have stuck with my being. One thing that has been like peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth of my soul has been doing the work of the Lord. Yes, all Christians are called by God to do his work but for me there is something more. Something that nags on my heart.  I thirst for vocational ministry and know that all else is a mirage. Could I do something else? The answer is yes but would it quench the flame inside me? A resounding no.  I had a friend tell me that the things we are passionate about aren't foolishness and those passions should be pursued as far as possible. In the mean time continue writing about them he added. I have two great passions. The first is the Church, the bride of Christ. There is a lot of work to be done such as keeping that first love, making disciples, providing community, and doing justice. The second thing I am passionate about is Africa, more specifically Uganda, more more specifically Jinja. Having been there twice and each time returning with something new and different makes me feel as though a part of me is still there. The love for the people and their ability to be joyful is phenomenal. Their love for the Word and the knowledge of applying that Word is challenging and the freedom to follow the Holy Spirit is so liberating. For me it's the love and passion of these two great things, things I feel called to pursue, which seems logical to fuse them together. Like peanut butter and chocolate. Such a complimentary pair. I haven't made the "sandwich" yet and perhaps it may end up like grapefruit and sushi but I will not know unless I "Oh taste and see." What would this dream look like you might ask. Maybe your saying, "Those things seem rather general, I want some specifics." well I have answer. I want to be the personal connection between my current South Georgia annual conference and the East Africa annual conference. A liaison if you will. Being able to be a face and tool for communication between the larger church. I'm certain that their will be politics involved with this type of position but the end result at the end of the day will be worth it. I want to be one that works both here and abroad making connections with local churches in the states and the those on the ground in The UG. I would love the privilege to be able to share the needs, concerns, and wonderful ministries that are going on between both parties. Not to sound arrogant but I think God has given me a gift of encouragement and would like to be able to encourage both parties in following Christ together, supporting one another, and bearing one another's burdens. To live there and here, preparing the Church for the Kingdom here and now as well as that glorious fulfillment in the future. That's my dream. Those are my passions. That is what burns inside of me and won't be satisfied until I pursue it and all avenues possible. Perhaps it is what God wants me to pursue just to prepare me for something else or it is in fact the way He will bring glory to Himself. Keep me in your prayers as I go on this journey. If you have current ?s about what you are your church(regardless of affiliation) can do hit me up.

"oh what am I to do but surrender to you"

"oh what am I to do but surrender to you" its the only thing to do that makes complete sense yet is so irrational. it seems like jumping into the middle of the deepest and most powerful ocean giving up complete control. You stop gasping for breathe. you cease the kicking and struggling and you rest. for some inexplainable reason you float, you are floating there amazed unsure of where you are heading and you know any effort to go in any direction other then where the ocean takes you is a vain attempt to survive. "why did i agree to this..." you may ask, "this unknown, this loss of perceived control?" yet you know deep down it is the best risk you've ever taken. the desires of your heart wane because your greatest faith is put in this ocean. of course you want to live because you had it all planned out. you knew what your occupation would be, you had financial backing for emergencies, where you would live, you even had a glimpse of who you would marry someday and raise a beautiful family, but right now you realize your fate, hopes, and dreams are up to this ocean and where it takes you. perhaps land where these specific desires of your heart is over this next wave or it could be miles away.  it may have some of those things or maybe that piece of land is a mere dream and the ocean is carrying you to an island of completely different yet great expectations that make those old desires seem unrewarding. for now you wait, anxiously but somehow content with all that is going on around you. there is one thing for sure, whoever you may see you share the amazing adventure with others.

So let's risk the ocean... I want to be lost in this sea of grace... to go where He goes and follow and not be afraid. oh Abba God send me.

that's where i am right now. some would say give it a week, it's probably a post-mission trip high,  but God is working out something within me.  i can't eat, sleep, and my mind keeps spinning and only cure is risking this ocean. my only question is will you risk it with me?

Back In Uganda part 2

Grace be to you all,

Yesterday was a pretty good day. We traveled from Entebbe to Kampala, the capital of Uganda, to visit the United Methodist Episcopal office for East Africa.  Here the Bishop Daniel Wandabula prepared a welcoming meeting sharing what wonderful ministries are going on throughout East Africa along with the struggles there have been. I think we were able to build bridges as well as plan for future ideas and ministries. We began and ended our meeting with worship in song. Africans sure do love to sing (perhaps that is why I feel somewhat at home here) We sang Joy to World and To God be the Glory.  To be quite honest sometimes I get wrapped up along with new worship songs and forget the theologically strong hymns of our past. Both are important but today I felt like singing to God be the Glory was somehow very healing for me.  It is good to be reminded its not about me and to remember to look for the glorious work of God in all things. I think whenever loose sight of the glory of God we are standing on shaky ground. My prayer today is, "My I decrease that He may increase."

We are headed to worship today at Wanyange Central United Methodist Church. I am so excited to praise God with our brothers and sisters here in Africa.  Church service here is so different, so energetic, filled with singing, dancing, prayer, testimonies, and the sharing of God's Word.  Pastor Isaac has asked me to preach some at 12:00noon today. I am extremely honored yet I feel very unworthy of such a task. I am preaching from Titus 2:11-14 and how the Gospel transforms us and our actions. I pray God gives me the words to speak and the right heart to share His Word with others.

Well its breakfast time in Jinja and time to eat some sweet bananas.

Peace and Love,
jb